Hard to Stay Pozi...

...it just is sometimes! I really love to welcome students with a smile, and I'm usually genuinely curious about how they're doing, but lately I feel like I've been standing at the door, offering only a sweaty brow and a grunt.

This may be a bit exaggerated. But for all you non-teachers out there, to give context, imagine with me for a minute. Think about how you get in the zone at your desk, in your office, able to close the door. Think about the annoyance of being interrupted by your co-workers to talk about something else, yet still work related. Now imagine: in walks a noisy crowd of co-workers, all up in your business.

That is the daily grind for me. I can get in the grading/planning/material-creating zone for a brief amount of time, but then I'm reminded by that darn ticking clock that in a short amount of time I'll have a room full of students who are either slightly dependent on my instructions, or totally dependent on my instructions (depending which period it is). Now, this is different from the non-teaching scenario, since the students ARE my work. Maybe that's the problem right now; that all of the paperwork has separated me from the reality of the person.

Returning to my above comment:

...students who are either slightly dependent on my instructions, or totally dependent on my instructions...

I look forward to the day that is not the case. It is 100% my credo that for a student to be motivated, they've got to be in charge of what they're learning. I've read a number of recent pieces from teachers that offer the axiom advocating teachers to guide their students toward leading their own learning, but honestly, that's like utopia for me right now; sci-fi, pie-in-the-sky type stuff.

This seems like it may have to do with my inexperience in planning, which makes me infinitely excited for next semester when I get to do a repeat of my intermediate class.

This general negativity may have something to do with me digging my way out from the bottom of a pile of papers tonight, only to see sunlight as it was diminishing. I certainly hope I'm not unloading too many gripe sessions. Soon, I'll find time on one of the days (there are many!) that I leave school smiling. Preferably during the light of day.