Hard to Stay Pozi...

...it just is sometimes! I really love to welcome students with a smile, and I'm usually genuinely curious about how they're doing, but lately I feel like I've been standing at the door, offering only a sweaty brow and a grunt.

This may be a bit exaggerated. But for all you non-teachers out there, to give context, imagine with me for a minute. Think about how you get in the zone at your desk, in your office, able to close the door. Think about the annoyance of being interrupted by your co-workers to talk about something else, yet still work related. Now imagine: in walks a noisy crowd of co-workers, all up in your business.

That is the daily grind for me. I can get in the grading/planning/material-creating zone for a brief amount of time, but then I'm reminded by that darn ticking clock that in a short amount of time I'll have a room full of students who are either slightly dependent on my instructions, or totally dependent on my instructions (depending which period it is). Now, this is different from the non-teaching scenario, since the students ARE my work. Maybe that's the problem right now; that all of the paperwork has separated me from the reality of the person.

Returning to my above comment:

...students who are either slightly dependent on my instructions, or totally dependent on my instructions...

I look forward to the day that is not the case. It is 100% my credo that for a student to be motivated, they've got to be in charge of what they're learning. I've read a number of recent pieces from teachers that offer the axiom advocating teachers to guide their students toward leading their own learning, but honestly, that's like utopia for me right now; sci-fi, pie-in-the-sky type stuff.

This seems like it may have to do with my inexperience in planning, which makes me infinitely excited for next semester when I get to do a repeat of my intermediate class.

This general negativity may have something to do with me digging my way out from the bottom of a pile of papers tonight, only to see sunlight as it was diminishing. I certainly hope I'm not unloading too many gripe sessions. Soon, I'll find time on one of the days (there are many!) that I leave school smiling. Preferably during the light of day.

Doomtree and hogwash media Unite!

lazerbeak -- "land's end" from hogwash media on Vimeo.

I'm so proud of Joel's latest music-video endeavor. It was a blast to see the project from green-screen start to otherworldly, fuzzed-out, dreamy finish. Plenty of awesome people worked on it as well, so check out the credits on hogwash media's vimeo page, and be sure to check out Joel's other work. How great is it that I'm engaged to my favorite filmmaker?